It could be a long weekend for Friday was a holiday, but I had FYP meeting on Sunday. It was never like a year before that I could really go out with friends.
We were stuck outside of The Cathay Starbucks for inside was packed. The place was cool with the fans on top of the ceiling, better than what we had always expected. The only problem was the lack of power supply.
Jeremy continued to stay missing in action but we did not blame him since he had done a fair amount of work since beginning. We felt weird and worried for him instead. We did not expect anyone to give up after so many months of hard work.
We moved into the air-conditioned place after some time when Stephen’s laptop was going to dry up, but having to split into two tables.
In the late afternoon when we were almost done up at around 5pm, I gave Irwin a call. Instead of meeting at Vivocity, he had arranged a meet up with Eugene at Bugis at around 7.30pm. I was not feeling well and thus, decided to stay at home instead.
I went to the IT fair at Expo yesterday with my younger brother, elder brother and his girlfriend. My stomach was bloated after the lunch at the Tanjong Pagar hawker centre. I regretted not being more determined to resume the visit to the Chinese physician.
There were many sweet salesgirls over there, which was quite distracting.
We were looking around at all brands such as Fujitsu, Acer, HP, Dell, Sony, and Toshiba… etc. In the end, my younger brother was captivated by a HP tablet laptop and a light weighted Acer normal laptop. He chose the latter since my elder brother advised we should just focus on getting whatever we wanted instead of being tempted by other interesting features. We chose the Acer one.
I wanted to get a simple laptop since I had to return the current one to my office after end of the year. My younger brother was using a powerful system he bought from NUS and he offered to exchange it with me for a lower-end laptop since he would only need one for his science report and surfing net.
肥水不流外人田，自家有水要珍惜。
I wanted to get the Acer laptop from a net friend who I realized was working there but somehow she was too busy to reply me the night before. I could not recognize her in the big exhibition hall and thus I gave up the idea because I would not want to go all the way there again.
After that, we walked around a sportswear warehouse sale where I saw a nice black Deuter back pack, compact enough to hold a laptop. It cost $79 and I gave it up, feeling the ache.
The MRT was crowded with people as well. We chose to go to the opposite direction instead, to the airport. My elder brother and his girlfriend decided on the Xin Wang Hong Kong Café and we had a long queue outside.
The waitress was cute and impressive on her memory. She had memorized the entire menu and thus, once we gave her the number of the food item, she could double confirm with us using the names. I ordered a plate of luncheon meat noodle for my throat was not feeling well.
Yesterday was Hari Raya Haji and therefore was a holiday, which means I had less one day of income.
It was a very slack day for me and thus there was not much work produced. At least I got to enjoy myself playing game alone.
At night, I went to IKEA with my mum and younger brother. The restaurant was packed and thus we took a round of walking around first before moving over to Anchor Point, where we settled at the Xin Wang Hong Kong café. It was a good dinner, sharing dishes like papaya milk soup, pork curry and lychee with meat. It cost me around $30.
After that, we walked around IKEA again at the level one and followed by level two again.
I had to package my lunch back to the staff room since my kiakis were all busy.
Kachua arrived with my dinner in the evening, Long John Silver’s golden deal one, and I did not play in the first two games. Mingfa brought his Clementi Woods Secondary students down and we were very impressed with their attitudes. I did not get to play with the Filipinos until the last game, and could no longer hold any enthusiasm.
We wanted to go to East Coast Park’s Si Nai Hong Kong café for dinner but it was already closing by the time we reached and thus, we switched to the branch at Tanjong Katong. I had nothing except for a cup of ice blended mango drinks.
Yesterday, I had lunch with Xiao Mei at IMM where I received my belated birthday treat. We chose Ajisen for the reasonable set meal price. It was quite okay but I would prefer western food. After finishing our meals, we shopped at one of the baby shops and followed by Daiso.
In the evening, Bernard dropped Mdm Seet and me at Dover MRT station. Mdm Seet accompanied me for dinner at Plaza Singapura’s food court and treated me a cup of milk tea at the Xin Wang café at the basement level.
It was not long before I would not have time to meet up with all the great people.
I made a wrong choice of getting a venti size Dark Mocha frappuccino at The Cathay Starbucks during the FYP meeting, which was so sweet that I could not finish.
On Sunday, Jeremy fell sick and thus we cancelled our FYP meeting at around noon time. The new show “Plan A”, replacing “Legendary of Bruce Lee”, on channel 8 from 11am to 1pm was nice. It was led by Dicky Cheung (Zhang Wei Jian) and thus I could see the “fun” in the show.
The weather was strange like the past few weeks; the sky was dark but it refused to pour. I left my house after 6.30pm for a jog to my favourite place – Marina Barrage. It was the latest time I had ever set off and the sky was beautiful, though quite threatening.
After camping in front of the laptop for the past two days, my joints were hardened and my lower back was aching. The jog hurt my lower back and thus I was slowed down. Nevertheless, I took 20.5 minutes to complete the journey, which was almost half a minute faster than the previous trip.
The weather was cooler than ever and my sweat dried up within less than five minutes, or rather, probably around two minutes. There were many pairs of couples around, spreading enviousness. I lay down by the side of the grass and the whistling of the dashing wind added happiness to the beautiful painting. I was very reluctant to leave.
When I got down to the ground level, I saw a gallery by the side of the Gallery Café at level 2. Being curious, I went in to enjoy the air-conditioner. The place was nicely done up.
My legs were going to cramp anytime but I continued my journey back in full speed. It was probably the fastest return-trip timing I had created at 20 minutes 46 seconds, which was just 16 seconds slower than my earlier journey to the Barrage.
Exactly a month ago, I started a draining and impossible journey. It was the riskiest choice ever, which I thought I could make a difference.
The actual day was not the day itself but five days later. I was almost destroyed.
I saw what I truly liked in life.
It could never be but I saw a change in me, for love was too strong. I could accept any stain done in the past for I thought I would be much appreciated than anyone in this world. I believed in creating a better future, which could overwrite everything.
“It takes two hands to clap.”
I could sense things were not going right since beginning; I saw with my heart. I was so sick of words. I believed strongly in “action speaks louder than words” but I received none of them.
Absurd was what I faced almost everyday. I started to expose more lies; I was exposed to the much darker side of the world. I was, however, prepared to persist on.
I realized things that I cherished and valued greatly in life might not be what everyone would care at all. I exploited my principles.
I became depressed and I even got drunk. I lost interest in practically everything and I could not maintain my concentration. I disappointed many people. Nevertheless, I found out the people who really cared and were ready to sacrifice time for me.
I could not let go because I could not stand things going wrong. It was one of my greatest failures in life that I could not make a difference. There was this problem with enlightenment that everyone had to embark on before anything could be corrected, and I was greatly defeated by it, let alone to make changes. I came to light that I was not a saint and was never good enough.
Everything was a challenge to my limit - limit of acceptance of flaws, limit of emotion exploitation, limit of tolerance and limit of physical strength.
I dozed off quite early, leaving my work unattended. It was a comfortable sleep since my mum did not turn on the air-conditioner, which was extremely rare. The weather was too good for sleep. I did not wear my shirt and the blanket was never on top of me.
It could be one of the best sleeps I ever had if not for a nightmare, which was scarier than having a headless ghost swinging in front of me – the return – my greatest fear which I was too soft to reject.
I woke up feeling more comfortable on my body than usual, but sadness swept over my head. Emotion was tensed.
Will you like to be sang by people or cursed by them after you leave this world?
“No man is an island.”
Humans usually take the easy way out – be selfish and mindless about others. But what this group of people is doing is simply filling their external peace, and never their inner peace. They are able to place themselves at advantage most of the time, but in time of need, how many people will truly help them?
How many people have you hurt? What do you get by watching them suffer? How many good souls do you want to destroy before you can rest your hands? How much trust can others have in you if you have been doing all the disappointing things?
“If you can’t contribute, at least don’t destroy.”
Nevertheless, it is tough to be a good person, but the least you can do is not becoming a bad person.
“Giving is happiness; loving others is a form of loving yourself.”
If all these years you have been thinking for only yourself, why not start thinking for others now?
The cloud could hold it so well that the sky was grey since early afternoon and it started pouring right after I got home after 5pm, such that I could not make it to the Marina Barrage after my FYP.
Nevertheless, it was quite an enjoyable afternoon at The Cathay’s Starbucks because basically, there were babes everywhere.
We took the sofa seats at the corner and there was a girl-next-door babe just a table away. Further away, near the more sofa area, there was a very girly girl sitting alone by herself. There was a time when a group of young girls were waiting outside near the taxi stand, and one of them was a sunshine girl, seducing me in her gorgeous dress. After changing seats with Soon Siong, I saw another two babes at the external Starbucks area.
The Cathay was a big distracting place, though, really good for mind-relaxing.
Yesterday’s lunch was almost a mess again. Dorothy insisted on celebrating my belated birthday together with Hirman’s after we had delayed it for very long.
Daniel, Weitat, Meihoe and I made the advanced party down to West Coast Plaza. Dorothy arrived next, followed by Jingkun. We almost thought Hirman and Kevin could not make it due to invigilation and we could have wasted the food we had preordered for them. Alas, they made it down.
When Jingkun mentioned about the latest rape case in Singapore, my mind almost went blank. The worries seemed to penetrating into me again.
It was quite a rush lunch since Hirman had an event to handle, whereas Meihoe needed to go for badminton competition. We could not really sit down to enjoy the meal while chit-chatting. Even for the cake cutting session was too quick that I felt the atmosphere was really weird. Hirman sent Meihoe back to the campus and the rest of us left soon.
Nevertheless, it was a rare get-together with Kevin and Hirman’s presence. It was a good-willed planning from Dorothy, who even made the effort to email us early in the morning for the arrangement. It was my fault in fact for I denied the birthday dinner from them on my actual birthday when everyone was free.
