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Sunday, April 03, 2011


A Stressful Week

I don't like to fall sick and I can't afford to. I'm on my path to strive for my future and this is the route I have chosen, which differs from most people's.

I don't have medical leaves that others have. When I'm down, progress slow down and it will take longer for me to get away from poverty.

I know if I were to continue at the current pace, I will eventually do better than average people. I never want to give up not because I'm greedy but for my pride.

I may not be born in a silver spoon but I'm considered quite lucky to earn my experience. I have met worthy friends who have been showing me sincere concern - people who have been nagging at me to find a "proper" job. Though they don't know my real concerns about my future and they never know I can begin something like now, I'm glad they have filled my life with true friendship.

I'm lucky because I manage to find a mentor who has been guiding me without demanding for any reward, except for a greater breakthrough in my progress. Though sometimes he may not understand the problems I'm facing is more than what he has analysed due to my lack of knowledge, I'm glad that the little skill I manage to absord out of his immortal web knowledge has managed to help me to struggle on.

I'm fighting hard to get things done as a perfectionist when I know clearly I'm still far from my own expectation. I'm not trained as a designer for corporate site nor have I worked as a programmer. I'm not even good in my language to create great contents. There are also administrative stuffs to handle such that I cannot focus on any of the tasks.

This week has been really bad. Having to debug the system means a reverse of progress. It has taken away not only my time but also my brain cells.

Now, I'm at the worst of my health after the stressful days.
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... Skai (Kailun) dreams @ 4:24 AM

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