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Monday, May 07, 2007


Still a Failure

This is weird and I’m really feeling insane. I’m terribly disappointed in myself for getting dejected easily. Each time after I set myself to be determined about forgetting something, I actually get caught back soon.

This is a lack of self-discipline or perhaps, I cannot resist temptation. It seems like a virus and I can never recover but it will never kill me.

You will probably shake your head and curse, “Why is this idiot not doing anything and yet keep talking about failure?”

There are many things that you can never see. I’m probably one of the rare bloggers who have been frank and direct in my blog but sometimes I cannot relate everything directly as to protect the privacy of some people.

I know I’m a failure in all aspects but seriously there is nothing that is motivating me now. Some people use career to boost their confidence, some use family’s wealth, while some use love. I probably have to lie to myself to get things done.

It is pointless to type here or go drinking to torture myself; there is basically nothing much I can do anymore.

Getting despair makes me a greater loser because girls prefer sunshine boy; but can I still laugh sincerely without you?

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... Skai (Kailun) dreams @ 2:52 PM

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