Year 2009 – Year of Hidden Fuel
Year 2009 was one of the busiest years in my life, having to cope with both work and studies, let alone my dreams. Time management was never my forte. I knew well I could never excel in any of them given the time restriction, but I had to persist on in order to get my degree at least.
Jingkun was the person who urged me to further my studies. I was never keen in continuing with my studies anymore for I was more or less set for pursuing a different career, not under the corporate ladder. Since my diploma was related, I was able to skip two years of the course to proceed to the third year directly, and that was the reason I was willing to take it up.
I got to know more cute students in ITE Clementi and I became closer to more of my colleagues, whom I regarded them as life saviours, building paths for the future. Nevertheless, my frustration to leave the workplace despite all the good elements was too strong that I struggled to stay more for the money. Sometimes, I hated myself for being a money slave. I was all set to leave by the end of the year but the kindest boss in the world needed my help due to shortage of staffs, I staggered my way towards the next couple of months of the new year. After more than two years of struggle, I finally managed to enjoy a full week of holidays without much worries regarding work.
Irwin’s idea to start a small business with me was put on hold due to our tight schedules. He came back to Singapore a few times but there were a couple of times he flew off before we could even meet up. The few times we met up were either to cheer each other up or together with other people.
Due to the time constraint, I was strayed badly away from my friends. No gathering was organised by me and I had to turn down some outings as well. I did not even go out with my buddies, Gilbert and Peh Kian wee anymore. I even missed sending greeting to some of my friends on their birthdays, putting a pause to my yearly initiative to do my part to make them slightly happier.
Family’s relationship was stable enough. I had a dispute with my elder brother’s girlfriend once, which made the entire family, including relatives, predict the future; I was sad. One major problem was regarding money, which my mum had been pouring into my ears indirectly every now and then. The bills of the family were gigantic and I was disgusted because it was crap, knowing there was so much we could do to reduce it. The big fish tank besides my work station and two new birds owned by my elder brother never failed to irritate me, especially after midnight. Upon finishing my studies, I was glad that I could spend more time with my younger brother, at the expense of stalling of work.
Financial was stable since I did not quit my job. Apart from paying the extreme high school fee, I spent more than ever on food during lunch with colleagues. Going out with family often burned my pockets. I tried to save as much as possible so that I could go jobless for months after quitting my job.
Relationship was of ups and downs. I got together with a very good girl but communication was a barrier somehow and. Then I tried to be a saint and sank into a pool of acidic love unprepared. I looked back and realised I could have written a non-friction love story that could strike the entire Singapore; it was all typed out but I had no intention to expose lies since there was no hatred for all the cruelty done to me. Somehow, my perception for love was changed, to an unknown extent, and my enthusiastic to help lost sheep was massacred. It was a good experience to expose myself to the ugly side of the world. The resistance for relationship was stronger than ever.
Health was worse than ever. Moments of sadness brought my body down. Apart from the usual sore throat, cough and flu, the Chinese physician saw a problem with my stomach, which was causing me suffering after each meal if I did not rest enough before walking.
My dreams to start my websites were never near finishing lines. The fuel within me was ready to heat up but I could never restore my energy.
Labels: 2009, dream, family, friends, health, job, love, money, study, website
... Skai (Kailun) dreams @ 4:00 AM
