As usual, I started my day working on the website and slept at 5am. I woke up as early as 7am to accompany my mum to the National Eye Centre for free check-up. I brought my laptop along since I knew it was going to be a long day. I sat there along working on the CMS for my website but there was a silly issue that wasted lots of time – the MySQL Query Browser did not store my data properly and I thought it was due to the coding that caused me unable to login. I dozed off occasionally a couple of times there.
After reaching home at around noon, I dozed off without eating anything as I was too exhausted from the lack of sleep for the past two nights. All the construction work next door was unable to wake me up.
It was after 4pm, I woke up to continue with my website. Having dinner at 9pm, my brothers brought Lucky down for a walk and came back before I went down to join them. I continued working on my website.
I was not in a good mood and blogging took me quite long. Crapping with Vanessa and knowing about her boyfriend’s funny opinions on Tze Khit and me kept me entertained to release the tension. I went to bed right after 4am.
My mum woke me up at around 7.30am. I was quite stunned when she asked me if I wanted to follow her to the hospital together with my elder brother when we had already finalised it days ago. She made half boiled eggs for me before the three of us set off, walking towards the hospital. We waited for the shuttle bus at the bus interchange and changed our mind.
The Singapore General Hospital was heavily guarded with nurses near the lifts under each block. We had to register, and obtain a sticker and a stamping on the back of the palm. I was quite taken back by one of the nurses at the Enscopy Centre because of her sincere and sweet smiles.
After my mum went in for her check-up, I went to the toilet for the third time of the day. It was freezing but I was well-prepared in my jeans and shoes, unlike my brother in his shorts and slippers, shivering away. His cup of hot drink turned cold soon. I spent most of the time usefully by typing an article regarding smoking in corridor.
My mum came out before 11am and she looked very pale. The nurse explained her condition to us and even showed us the photos taken inside her big intestine. There was nothing much serious after removing some acne inside but she had to report to the specialist again next month when the lab report was out.
We went to the Kopitiam food court for our brunch. The roosted chicken rice from the Muslim stall was very disappointing. My mum had soup mee hoon while my brother impressed me with his decision to take po pian. After that, we cabbed home.
Once I logged into MSN, Jade messaged me and finally started her webcam for she was supposed to do it with me the previous night. However, my network was having problems and it took me some time to get reconnected. She was in her class and thus, we could not really chat much even with the webcams on. I started nodding and went to bed after her class dismissal.
I got up a couple of hours later. Irwin finally got back to me via MSN to tell me that his already changed plan from viewing of camera at Funnan to movie at Vivocity was once again shifted to drinking at Clarke Quay together with his girlfriend and Eugene. I did not want to get into the hobby of drinking and thus I did not join in.
I was not in a very good mood still. Too much thought circulated in my mind that I started playing a few games of Condition Zero to distracted myself and to burn off the irritants. It was yet another inefficient night being stuck in front of the television.
I woke up at around 11.30 AM on Sunday morning and started to watch the stupid China show on channel 8, which Michelle Chia was involved and the filming was pulled to Singapore in the recent episodes.
My mum dragged me to the hospital in the afternoon to visit my uncle and since I knew it the night before, I did not start into any work so that the halting of progress would not irritate me. In fact, my uncle had been going to the hospital quite often and thus I was not very worried.
Along the way, my mum was asking me to give some money to my aunt since she was jobless and had to look after my uncle. I hated all these mandatory demands because I hated to be instructed to do things and especially on things which I was preparing to do. Suddenly, I was wondering if the decision to exhaust my saving for the degree course would be a wrong choice.
The long trip to the hospital was a total turn off. My mum was guiding the way as though as I was fresh to the place. When I wanted to go to the ATM machine which I remembered was near the pharmacy, my mum went her way and thus I gave up.
My aunt was scolding my uncle who was behaving worse than a child and when she mentioned about his illness since year 2000, I counted how long she had been taking care of him, facing his nuisance. She had been tortured by him for nearly nine years since his brain was infected by virus and in her childless status, she probably had forgotten how to smile.
When my uncle tried to press the alert button to get the nurse, I managed to stop him and my aunt came over to hit him on his hand. Having to hit someone whom you loved and had been taking care of you for centuries was definitely unbearable, but somehow, it was the only language now to make my uncle understand what he wanted to do was wrong.
Would love in these days last long; and would any girl be as loyal and responsible to take care of her sick spouse for a century or more?
I hated hospital and I hated hospital visiting.
We followed my aunt home, walking down the slope towards the main road and it took some time before we arrived at Kim Tian Road. My aunt was quite hostile somehow and she refused to join us for dinner. From her conversation with my mum, I realised she had been taking instant noodle for her dinner.
I seriously did not enjoy the trip at all. I was looking out for ATM machine all along the road that we passed by, having to plan how to make my aunt accept the money even if I could withdraw the money. Next, she did not even want to accept a simple dinner treat, which caused frustration in me. Things seemed to be going the opposite way for me.
Recapping my childhood days when I was staying at my aunt’s place, with all the good values being imparted to me, I had benefited so much from the poor old couple. At least, I was proud of my honesty.
My aunt was too tiny to get away and we ended up at the coffee shop nearby. My mum made the order of two small bowls of soup and a bowl of oil chicken, and I felt like eating just the plain rice even though it cost me around ten bucks. The drinks stall extorted money and charged us $1.30 for each can drink and $0.90 for a cup of coffee; it was just a normal neighbourhood coffee shop and not even a food court.
I was arranging to meet up with Irwin for golf but when I reached home, he told me his side was raining and thus he could not get out of house. Just as I thought I would only be meeting him the next day, he was too bored and suggested catching a movie together. I missed the last part of my favourite show – 鹿鼎记 – as he reached fast in his brother’s car.
We went to Vivocity and caught the show – Body of Lies. A group of teenagers was out to seek attentions at the extreme right side of the theater and the sad thing was that two of the girls who did walk past us looked quite sweet; such a waste of beauties with brainless heads to mix with fearless ah bengs who would probably get into fights someday. I did not want to curse the girls but could not help thinking how soon they would dirt their bodies.
The movie, “Body of Lies”, was quite a messy show. The scenes switched from countries to countries and that the actors spoke a little too fast for me to catch; I was totally lost at some parts of the show. The last part was definitely disgusting with the terrorist using the hammer on the hero’s fingers. There was a guy whose name sounded like “honey” and it was quite funny to hear the other actors addressing him.
After holding onto my bladder for the entire show, I finally realized that it was not a good idea to catch movie when I was sick.
I was wondering if watching a movie was a good choice since Irwin was facing his downtime and I could have probably chosen somewhere to chat with him, or even with no solution, at least to let him pour out and that was the least thing friends could do for him.
Most people were rushing to finish marking their papers and words were exchanged; somehow the spirit was good. On the other side, it seemed to be a quieter day for Weitat and me in the absence of Jingkun.
We went to Clementi's bookshop to search for Weitat's book cover while I started drooling over the programming books on the shelves. However, before I could find any PHP book, Weitat was done. We went to the bookshop above the fast food restaurants where Mingfa came over to meet us. The board games and stationeries, including bags sparked my excitement.
Next, we proceeded to send Mingfa to CMPB for his stubbornness to book IPPT test before proceeding to Bukit Merah to buy some finger food. Mingfa called us soon and informed us that he had remembered the wrong date. It got complicated when Jingkun was supposed to meet us for lunch but the sudden change of time might pose problems and Mingen had called Mingfa suddenly and wanted to join us. Alas, timing was good enough that we managed to meet up at the ABC market without much delay. Mingfa, Weitat and I were too lazy to choose what to eat and thus we got ourselves the chicken rice again.
After getting back to work, I tried to concentrate but it was not long before my mum made a call to me. At such an odd hour – three PM – she asked if I might be happened to knock off from work already. Then she told me that my aunt was at the hospital. She further scared me that the doctor had claimed that there seemed to be some stones inside my aunt's stomach and her life might be in danger. She told me that she was going to my aunt's home to take care of my sick uncle and my brother was waiting at the A&E.
I did not know how serious the situation was but it would not look nice if I were to leave work early when Jingkun was already not around, and the few slackers who were deemed as part of our gang might not be around as well. My determination to finish off my last set of torment held me back. Soon, I started to realise struggling on was a complete waste of time and could even cause errors in my lack of concentration. Finally, I could not hold it anymore and went to inform my boss that I had to leave immediately. He did not question me and instantly gave a hand signal to acknowledge.
On the way, cold sweat started dripping off my tensed body, as my worries started sweeping my brain all over. I began to worry about the medical bill but was pleased that I had not registered for university yet. The lack of visit to my aunt was somehow prickling me.
I took the wrong path even though SGH was supposed to be my dominance for the frequent visit. After seeing my aunt who was already at the observation ward, I got to slowly piece up the story.
She started vomiting on Sunday night and visited the polyclinic on the next day. The doctors advised her to visit the hospital because they could find some lumps on her stomach. My mum’s assume-we-know-everything storytelling had posed so much fear in my mind for the past hour; I could have clarified with my elder brother earlier given the experience of communicating with my mum.
I stayed inside the ward to keep my aunt accompanied. She questioned me about going to university and apologised for not able to offer any financial help to me – she could hardly even fare for herself given no child at the age of sixty over, being jobless, and that my uncle was too great a burden to her. My younger brother arrived some time later. My aunt's blood test results were out after five PM and everything was fine and the doctor said it could be just some gastric problems that caused her to vomit.
At the payment counter, my aunt insisted to foot her bill but my brother and I lied that they could only accept NETS payment. Then, we told her it was nineteen dollars instead of ninety dollars but the bloody brainless cashier acted like a moron and tried to correct us to make it so obvious that we were lying even though my aunt was not English educated.
My elder brother and his girlfriend made their way to Chinatown while my younger brother and I took my aunt home by cab. From SGH, it actually cost us more than seven dollars just to reach Kim Tian Road and I confirmed that cab companies were daylight robbers.
We left my aunt and uncle soon and made our way to Chinatown together with my mum. We bought some stuffs at the CK departmental store before going for dinner. The sting ray stall was closed for the day and we struggled some time before decided to eat chicken rice – my second time for the day.
Before we could finish enjoying our meal, a weird auntie approached us to buy tissue papers. It was not the usual case of such irritating acts in hawker centres and this time the seller seemed to be an insane case. She was not limping or blind, and none of her body seemed to be pitiful, but she behaved so creepy that most of the diners were staring at her wherever she went.
My mum took out tissue papers just before she came over. She simply put her tissue papers on the table and reached out her hands for money. She refused to leave and suddenly she kneeled down while she seemed to be packing her big bag. We refused to buy her threat and after a minute or so, she got up and decided to give up after some time. Wherever she went to, the people seemed to be so disgusted and even foreigners turned her away. Another disgusting act of her was when she started plucking her nose.
Government should do something to stop selling of tissue papers in food centres to stop the irritation; but however, if necessary, licenses should be given to the disabled.
I got up early on a Saturday morning unusually. It was all for the money spending trip at Singapore General Hospital (SGH) again for my medication appointment.
During the visit to the medical centre in Stagmont Camp some months ago, the medical officer (MO) helped me to schedule an appointment with the specialist as to get a letter to downgrade me permanently.
I managed to walk to SGH within half an hour's time. I did not have good impression with the management since I had to spend at least an hour to wait there each time and that the specialists were not very caring.
This time round, I only waited for around ten minutes before I could get into the room, which was a great improvement, but however, could be because my appointment was one of the earliest.
The doctor was Dr Thiruchelvam Jegathesan. I should have mentioned about the weakness in my knees but I was suddenly too lost for words. Apart from the main problem, which was my back, I told him about my suspicious of having bone spurs on my feet but he claimed it was not very likely. In the end, I told him that the MO wanted the memo from him and he sent me out of the room while typing it out for me. It was a short and sweet letter, but however, the contents might not be a strong backup for permanent downgrade…
"Dear colleague kindly downgrade the above mentioned patient to his prov Pes status of C2L2 due to his chronic back pain secondary to Mild disc bulging at L4/5 and Subarachnoid cyst involving the left S2 nerve root. Thank you. ."
Compared to my elder brother's letter from Geneagles Hospital, it was nothing. His specialist wrote a very detailed and strong letter for downgrading him, which I was very impressed. I could see the big difference between private and government hospitals – private hospitals would put the patient’s interest at the first place whereas government hospitals would reduce time wastage and also, not taking too much responsibility.
At least, this was the first time ever a specialist from SGH would dare or bother to help me write a letter to ask for downgrade. It was a better experience at SGH and I hoped I would not call it "Singapore Waiting Hospital" again in future.
I paid for $25, whereas my brother paid around $80 for the consultation.
My mum has been falling very ill a couple of times every year that we have to send her to the hospital at night. Luckily, there is not much of a major problem so far, except for some long term illness.
Medication may be very advanced in Singapore but it is definitely very costly. There is also a quote saying “You can die in Singapore, but you cannot fall sick there”. Of course this “sick” refers to the major illness like for example, diabetic, heart disease etc.
If you have a dad who has been saving up all these years, your family would probably still face some problems when medication help is needed. So, how about the situation of a fatherless family?
Having a mum who has been working like a bull simply for a very low income which can never match up to a toilet cleaner’s, an elder brother who spent almost every cent each month, and a younger brother who is still waiting for university, it is definitely more than what you can imagine.
I’m being brainwashed to live in poverty, unable to appreciate luxuries and being lack of craving; it simply makes me a very boring person. For a better future, I’m holding tight.
My mum went to the hospital hours ago again. I went there in my stinky jersey right after volleyball to give a sigh of relief when I heard that there was not much problems. For a hundred dollars, my elder brother footed the bill; but what if it was a dozen times more?
It took me great effort to sleep at 4am. I waked up at 8.30am and went to the Singapore Waiting Hospital. I waited one and a half hour at Clinic ‘E’ before seeing the doctor. Somehow, he was similar to the other specialists who did not wish to write a memo to the army’s medical officer for downgrading me. He claimed that the medical officers might not follow their instructions, which was obvious but the medical officers always claimed that they needed the specialist’s letter in order to appeal for my downgrade. Basically, they were pushing the responsibilities around and I had to accept that it was life in Singapore.
Since I was no longer a national service boy anymore, I was able to speak up bravely and claim my right. I told the doctor it was unfair for me if my condition was to worsen during re-service and that the medical officers had asked for the specialist letter so that they could submit my case to the medical board. I won the battle but somehow the memo did not do me very good favour.
After reaching home, I continued with my work. Jianhao messaged me to ask if I wanted to do any design for the advertisement but I told him honestly my inspiration would not come just when I was pleased. In fact, I was so busy these days that I had no mood for artistic work at all. I was also unfortunately having no luck for rental stuffs, which had also demoralized me a lot.
I was engaged with chat messages in MSN while working. Eventually Irwin advised me not to meet up with him for I would not be able to talk to him for more than an hour before his plane took off. It was such a waste that he had only come back for less than two days and I had not seen him for very long already. I also had fun chatting with Xavier where I poured out some of my failure to him.
This evening, I could not get this line off my mind - “你把我的女人带走，你也不会快乐很久” – you snatch my girl away, but you can never be happy for long. It was a song by温兆伦, which my ex classmates during secondary school days used to joke about.
In the midst of everything, I had received a call from Carol’s company, asking me down for a second interview. I felt so weird that I had screwed up my first interview but they seemed to be giving me extra chances.
Since I was not meeting Irwin anymore, Kaven asked me to have dinner with him. He drove me to Chinatown and he treated me at the famous toad’s leg porridge stall. As usual, he ordered some side dishes. I believed he was treating me as very good friend for I was someone who did not appreciate good food and yet he often asked me out for meals. At least, I was glad that this time the meal was cheaper than the previous ones.
After sending me home, I started working again. At night, I called Carol up and she guided me through the possible interviewing questions. She was so clear-minded and quick-witted that I was suspecting she used to be a professional interviewer.
I tried to sleep early especially this night to go to the polyclinic in the early morning. I was not sure what time I dozed off and whether did my mum wake me up, but she suddenly asked me where I was going. Then, she recommended me to a skin doctor and I agreed.
She woke me up at seven plus after I purposely went back to sleep after my alarms sounded. Then, we left home at around eight and walked towards Kreta Ayer Road. Then she told me the clinic was at the third storey and which we could not find. Then she said she suspect it might have moved down and indeed we found it at the second level at exactly the same corner. I was not sure if it had shifted down or my mum had remembered the location wrongly.
Disgusting Corn
I saw the price labelled at the counter stating “$50 to $75” and it freaked me out. After seeing the doctor, he told me the unknown thing on my wrist could be corn and he recommended me to go to the polyclinic and they might remove it for me. I was very upset about the money I was wasting for this advice but luckily he claimed we were not required to foot any bill.
We made the trip to Outram Polyclinic directly. This morning proved the communication problems between my mum and me, or rather, her and my brothers as well. When we were at Neil Road, there were long stretches of shophouses opposite the Police Cantonment Complex and we were supposed to cross over to the diagonal corner of the “rectangular” area (shophouses). We took the inner path and she claimed it was a “shortcut”, which was of an exact distant of taking the path along the main road.
It was a long queue as usual at the Polyclinic and both the nicest doctors, Doctor Sally Ho and Doctor Tan Kok Leong were not around, and I had to go for a random doctor, which was really dangerous. Some of the doctors sucked for they gave really bad attitude and you would probably be freaked out as well and not trust their abilities.
As we were waiting outside the room, the aunties behind us were talking non-stop while my mum and I were trying to take a little nap on the uncomfortable chairs. Suddenly another Cantonese auntie joined in with her extremely loud and piercing voice. I purposely turned back to stare at her and soon she stopped. While she went to the toilet, her number was called and the doctor even came out to call for her. Then, she returned to make a big fuss.
Two hours later, finally it was my turn to go into the room. My mum became a doctor suddenly and asked directly for an operation while I was waiting for the doctor to suggest better alternatives or prescribe stronger medicine. So, the doctor immediately wrote a referral letter to Singapore General Hospital and did not give me any medicine. The first visit to the specialist clinic could easily cost up to forty bucks and the time wasted would be half of the day; it was the last resort I really wished to use.
After making an appointment at the other room, we were told to go back to the registration counter to pay the money since there was no medicine to be collected. Two out of the four counters were closed at lunch time and the other two counters were occupied. I was waiting there for the counter to be cleared and my mum turned to a passed by nurse and said loudly, “Ask her lo.” Obviously the nurse turned to us and I answered her embarrassingly, “It’s okay; I’m just waiting to make payment.”
Suddenly, a lady near me over the other counter asked if I was another guy. I found her very familiar and after a while I asked her if she was teaching at Ngee Ann Polytechnic and she answered me positive. She was Mrs Mok who had taught me during lower secondary as my arts teacher, as well as an English writing course lecturer during my polytechnic days. As we walked out of the place together, she told me she was teaching at “Nanyang” as well and my mum immediately interrupted, claiming that my younger brother studied there as well. I instantly double confirmed it was Nanyang Polytechnic since we were talking about polytechnic all along and that managed to stop my mum from making more blurts.
Towards the end of the morning when we were going to cross over the T-junction in front of the Police Cantonment Complex, my mum said for at least the third time my younger brother knew how to take the underpass across so that we did not cross the road. I never liked to use it since it required taking many flocks of escalators down and up when we could easily just cross the road.
I went to the physiotherapist for the second time with my mum. I told her I had accidentally strained my calf two nights ago and she was quite stunned. It was all for the long disability that I wanted to witness the progress.
I did some cycling exercise there and each time I used strength, the left calf seemed like going to cramp. Then, I was taught a few more exercises with the thera-band. Luckily the session was less than ten bucks.
Next, we went to the Clinic “C” again. The waiting time was near an hour. I was delighted to see Doctor Tay again and Doctor Sebastian was just by his side. There was nothing much to say and they thought my condition was good. When Doctor Sebastian asked if there was any numbness, I felt around the wound and the skin was indeed totally numbed.
The next appointment is half a year later. By then I do not see any need to go back when I have totally recovered. Twenty-one bucks was too expensive. Perhaps, the reason to go back would be just to pay Doctor Tay a visit.
Gilbert had rectified my language and contents of a letter written in rage; it had somehow demoralised me but definitely made me realise how incompetent I was. He prompted me with many questions and left the final editing to me.
In the end, I did not send it to the officials that I wished to complain to; I was quite lost.
The original letter:
I am writing this email to express a big displease and shame on the service of your hospital.
Last Wednesday, I had an operation done by Doctor Mathew George Sebastian from Clinic “C” and the description of the surgical procedures was “Excision of Left Lateral Gastrocnemius Haemangioma”.
My calf and foot on the operated leg are still swelling after a week and there are blood cots on both sides of the foot just above the heel, which are around four by two centimetres big. Another concern is the discharge on the lowest portion of the wound.
As I had an appointment with the Neuro-Surgery department at Clinic “E” today, after waiting for more than an hour as usual, I mentioned about the urgent problems to the doctor at room “6”. He told me to go to Clinic “C” and insist for a check-up immediately because the discharge might cause an infection.
My mum and I got very concern and we went to the treatment room (room 10) at Clinic “C” as instructed at around 1230h. The nurse inside, however, told us that Doctor Mathew was doing an operation at the moment. I requested for just any doctor or medical staff to inspect on my wound but this nurse claimed that only Doctor Mathew knew about my problems. She offered me to push my next appointment forward from two weeks later (091006) to next Monday (021006) or Tuesday (031006) but I declined.
I am sure you, a worthy and dedicated staff of the hospital, or even just a normal non-medical trained person would see the problems.
I wish to clarify my doubts.
1. Will the hospital bear full responsible if my wound gets infected or worsens? 2. Is your well-reputation hospital training staffs to say no to patient instead of finding a better solution? 3. Is the documentation done properly enough each time to maintain details of my problems/injuries so that other doctors can see to my problems? 4. Are all doctors in your hospital, other than Doctor Mathew, trained to treat problems with swelling, blood cots and discharge of wounds? 5. If Doctor Mathew leaves the working force of the hospital one day unfortunately, do I have to forsake my wound?
On my personal view, your staffs are pushing away responsibility. As Singapore is trying to promote our excellent medical treatment in Asia, this will act as opposition to the proposal.
Hereby, I wish to seek an explanation to my questions and hope that my future experience with your hospital will be better when your staffs are more enthusiastic.
The finalised letter:
Re: Dissatisfaction with SGH’s services and seeking resolution to my medical condition
Last Wednesday (200906), I had an operation done by Doctor Mathew George Sebastian from Clinic “C” and the description of the surgical procedures was “Excision of Left Lateral Gastrocnemius Haemangioma”.
My calf and foot on the operated leg are still swelling after a week and there are blood cots on both sides of the foot just above the heel, which are around four by two centimetres big. Another concern is the discharge on the lowest portion of the wound.
I had an appointment with the Neuro-Surgery department at Clinic “E” today, which concerned a separated health issue. I went into room “6” after waiting for more than an hour. The doctor knew about my recent operation and I took the chance to explain my worries about the development of my condition regarding the operation. He told me I had the right to go to Clinic “C” immediately and insist Doctor Mathew to do a check-up because the discharge might cause an infection.
Afterwards I went to the treatment room “10” at Clinic “C” as instructed at around 1230h. The nurse inside, however, told us that Doctor Mathew was doing an operation at the moment. I requested for any doctor or medical staff who could inspect my wound but the nurse claimed that only Doctor Mathew knew about my problems; even so I was sure any doctor currently on duty could easily inspect my wound, which would not take up much of their time. Instead, she offered to push my next appointment forward from two weeks later (091006) to next Monday (021006) or Tuesday (031006) but I declined as I needed at least an explanation to check on the seriousness of my condition and if it required immediate medical attention. I refused to leave at first and showed her my operated leg but she claimed that there was no dark area around the bandage and thus there should be no infection; she did not remove the bandage. She suggested me to go to a polyclinic or directly to the A&E department if I was worried, which I thought was very unprofessional to push me away. I was very disappointed and left the hospital.
I wish to clarify my doubts.
1. Will the hospital bear full responsibility if my wound gets infected or worsened since it is not treated on the spot? 2. Are my medical records ready and available so that other doctors could have seen to my problems? 3. Are there any other doctors in your hospital, other than Doctor Mathew, trained to treat problems with swelling, blood cots and discharge of wounds after operation?
From my point of view, your staffs were pushing away responsibility or perhaps they were not trained to provide simple immediate resolutions. As Singapore is trying to promote our excellent medical services in Asia, the service rendered to me seemed to be compromising the hospital’s reputation.
Hereby, I wish to seek an explanation to my problems and resolutions to my medical condition mentioned above. I hope that my future experience with your hospital will be a better one and would appreciate if u could contact me as soon as possible.
I was shocked to see the appointment date on the paper for my physiotherapy during the weekends as I keyed the date into my website’s calendar. The nurse told me it was a Monday but the calendar showed it was a Tuesday. I checked the date of my computer and finally confirmed that was a cock up.
“26/09/06 Monday”
My mum claimed I should just follow the date instead of the day but I did not want to risk changing the appointment to a day after my ORD day.
On the day itself, I went online to check but realised the website had some bugs or it was just too high-knowledge-required. Then, I took the appointment card for my other hospital appointment and dialled the number, which I realised it worked. I was lucky that I did not take the assumption of my mum.
At first, I wanted to walk over like usual, except this time with my crutches; however, my mum was worried that I could not take it and insisted to take cab there. On the way down to level one, in my attempt to make quick step, I almost fell down from the top of the stairs with my poor crutch drop on the floor.
This time, I was quite ashamed of having my mum to abandon her work to accompany me there; unlike usually I was just afraid she would give me extra problems. I paid for the cab fare which was around four bucks.
By then, we were super early. I was hoping to see Joanna, my previous pretty physiotherapist, but luck was not with me. After filling up a small survey form and waited less than half an hour, I was called by Suelyn and I followed her in.
I seemed quite lost somehow and she thought I was very afraid. She asked me to tell her story about the lump and I was caught by it; basically I could not really remember the full story after the long negligence. Then, she taught me a few stretching and strengthening ways for my muscle, which I had foreseen earlier.
I should be taught during my hospitalised days so that I needed not make an extra trip down. I was worried for my next appointment anyway for it was after my ORD date.
I wanted to take the shuttle bus down to Outram MRT but my mum insisted to take cab again. We stopped by the Post Office and this time she paid for it. We went into the new medical shop first and the man was trying to persuade us to get the more expensive tape. Since I did not need that, we insisted to get the nice transparent plastic one which was three times cheaper; I guessed the shop might not survive for long given the price of rental big space at the location.
The conclusion for the day was my mum was really great except that we always had communication problems.
After sleeping for two hours, I woke up suddenly with Yixin and Cecilia by my side. Yixin was laughing craftily as they walked off. I was not sure did they do anything to wake me up or I just felt the danger and got up to save myself.
With the frame, I went to the toilet to wash up by myself. The morning seemed so special somehow I loved it.
Since it was the last day of job attachment for my juniors (Ngee Ann Polytechnic students), all of them were so excited to start their three weeks of break; it was just nice for I was going to be discharged on the same day.
Yixin and Jielin were most hyperactive as usual. I laughed at them while they were “cleaning” up the patients and made some mistakes. Yixin even asked me a few times if I wanted them to sponge me, which was a fortunate deal for me but I rejected since it would be awkward, I needed a real bathe instead and Vivi might get jealous.
Jielin and Yixin
Grace and Jielin
I was lazy to move the trolley towards the bed and chose to leave it at the foot of the bed. Then, I told Jielin I looked cool to eat like that but Yixin later came and pushed it to the side of the bed so that I needed not twist my body to the side while eating; Yixin was so attentive.
The physiotherapist came again and finally brought my crutches. She was surprised to see the frame with me and finally shown her “true colours” as she said it was quite impossible to get it and she was just causally saying I could get it to practise on my own. Anyway, she taught with how to climb stairs with the help of Jielin and Kim Kim.
Later on, Cecilia tried to play with my crutches and the rest of them joined in. their laughers had cheered the room up so much.
Kim and Jielin
Cecilia, Kim, Jielin and Grace at the very back
I was so gratified that my auntie, my mum’s sister, came to visit me on the third consecutive day; I did not even visit her when she was struggling to take care of my uncle who was infected with brain disease. She even brought food along.
I was quite bored when the nurses went for their break. After they came back, they helped me to cover up my bandage so that I could go and bath; I had a very tough time inside, trying not to wet my left calf even though it was quite well protected.
After that, the nurses gathered around me again and I could stop feeling fortunate. Perhaps, I was the youngest patient there and that was why they rather had “war” against me; they could not resist waiting to remove all the tapes to see me scream in pain.
One thing which I did not understand about my mum was she kept asking them to become her god daughters. I forgot to ask my mum to bring the camera along which I had even prepared on my table top, with batteries fully charged.
It was around one when my medicine arrived. Then, the permanent nurse came over to give me a new wound dressing. I saw the wound then, which was very disgusting though it was only a line.
After that, the nurses accompanied my mum and I down as they went to take their lunch. From them, I saw hopes in future. They also showed me the enthusiasm to do things.
I woke up as early as five plus in the morning. Then, I waited for my mum to come as she promised to get me breakfast.
The nurse came and asked me to take a seat on the chair while she prepared my bed. I tried to get down and hurt my left leg even when I tried to put it on the floor so gently. She was shocked and apologised but it was my own intention to try walking since I could have hopped over with just my right leg.
Since I could not walk and had only a hand to move, I had to use the thymol gargle solution to rinse my mouth despite hating to trouble the nurse. My mum finally came at around eight but I had already finished my breakfast; the seventy to eighty percent done egg was quite nice.
When I was asked whether I wanted to take a bath, I said no because of the restriction of movement. They could have wheeled me over to the toilet but the needle on the back of my wrist was far too scary for me to move about. But since I had sweated, I allowed them to sponge me. It was an unusual experience.
Before the group of them came to help me, I asked for the removal of the needle on the back of my left wrist. It bled more than the previous time I had a drip and of course, there was more pain than ever. However, it was a nice feeling after that as I finally had both my hand free.
The female physiotherapist came finally and tried to get me to walk with the frame. It was a struggle to put my left foot flat onto the ground but I had to lean my leg backwards in order to do that. I sweated a lot while trying to walk and in the end the physiotherapist helped me to speak to the doctor to let me stay for one more day. However, she did not leave the frame with me that I could not walk by myself.
Vivi came to visit me again upon knowing that I would be staying for one more day but she left at around five thirty. It was a fun afternoon with lots of photos taken. She took some nice photos of me in good angles.
Vivi insisted me to write something into her diary
Vivi and I
Her diary
Sweet love
An artistic photo taken by Vivi of an ugly model. Picture is being distorted by me.
Taken by surprise again
Around evening, Yixin was attending to the patient besides me and seemed a bit shock to see that I was still around. The routine of taking my pulse, temperature and other things continued. While she was seriously and carefully taking my pulse again, I called out different numbers to distract her and eventually succeeded. I even took photos of her. I asked her and Jielin to get me a frame so that I could go to the toilet and they did not fail me.
My new good friend/enemy
Molest!!
I was surprised when Yixin told me she had watched the “Han Wu Da Di” show the night before as she was curious about why I wanted to watch it so badly. We had craps together with other nurses, and I mocked at them for going into the male’s toilet.
The most interesting thing came when the old patient besides me dressed up and even removed the drip by himself. Then, he was walking out with his bag when a male nurse who did not stop him, only until my mum and I shouted out. His relatives came later to persuade him to stay on and explained that the nurses did not give him any food because he was not supposed to eat and that the drip was sufficient to keep him alive.
It was a boring night after all the training nurses left, however, they told me it was their last day the next day and all of them would only be coming in the morning, which was just nice to send me off. Jielin was so sweet to “steal” the frame to keep by my side so that I could walk around by myself.
That night, I dozed off only for a while and then could not get to sleep until five. Suddenly, I decided to try listening to music, which worked after a repeat of the seven songs.
When I was left alone on the bed, I seemed like a worthless corpse. The worst thing I would ever want to do was to bother the nurses and thus I did dare to drink water. I did not even move my leg in case the wound would worsen. The greatest fear was the needle on the back of my left palm that left me with only a moveable right hand and leg.
Suddenly it became interesting when a nurse came over to take my heartbeat. This cute girl took much longer time than usual nurses and even after she left my wrist alone, she was using her fingers to count something. I realised she was a trainee from Ngee Ann Polytechnic from her name tag. Her name was Yixin.
Since movement was restricted, I did not get my notebook or PHP book out to study. I stared into space most of the time and also looking at the other five patients, which was quite interesting as well. The patient opposite me, Mr Lim, was friendly and smiled at me a few times. His relatives talked to me as well to find out about the reason I was there.
The patient besides Mr Lim was however a weirdo. He had contacted diabetic and already had a leg removed. He was quite a problematic guy who gave lots of problems to the nurses and he urged the doctors to remove his only leg in quite a funny manner.
As I got to know more about the problems of the patients, I became so disheartened and sad. I could not stay in the ward any longer with the aching in my heart though I was left helpless. Also, I feared of getting old and problematic like them, feeling the pains they were going through.
After a few hourly routines, I began to ask Yixin questions like if there was any way to watch television at night. She showed an emotionless face sometimes but she was in fact the most observance and careful nurse.
There was once when Jielin joined in to take my pulse rate and Mingfa called at the same time, I moved about. After she removed the equipment from my elbow, she told me she could not hear anything when I was talking and moving about. I could not help but laugh.
Soon, they were leaving and since the doctor said I would be hospitalised for only one night, I thought I would never see them again.
I dozed off at around eleven but soon woke up again. The nurse in charge of night duties was quite short and pretty but certainly capable as I witnessed her entertain that guy besides Mr Lim so many times. She even held the plastic bag for him to vomit, which was a tough job for me and certainly to most girls.
Towards the dreadful nightmare, I felt lost out of a sudden. Morning was taking a cab to block five and then proceeding to the admission office. After reporting to my ward, I was left with waiting.
For almost two hours, I lay down on the bed doing nothing. It was an awful feeling. The fear and curiosity were frustrated, as time finally showed an unintended mercy.
The nurse finally came in to give a notice to get changed, which caught me unprepared totally. My plan to go to the toilet seemed too insignificant compared to the operation, but I actually waited more than half an hour before the old lady came to push me over to the second level.
My mum and aunt followed. The feeling of being pushed on a wheeled bed was weird but of a new experience. There were a few repeat confirmation of my identity behind each door until the final waiting area, which was just a door away from the actual operation theatre. The two nurses who pushed me over were friendly and humorous.
The introduced nurse waiting inside accompanied me at first but soon, I was left alone there most of the time. The anaesthetist came and explained that there was another operation going on. After some time, she came over to introduce my greatest friend, the needle. She tried so hard to make my veins more obvious, which was so weird to try on my easily visible veins. Her hands were freezing cold and that actually worried me even though she was a doctor.
After a minute of tapping my wrist, she stopped and went over to the operation theatre. It was after some time later, she came back to repeat the same thing. I did not look at my wrist when she was about to cause my giddiness. The ant bite’s pain was not just an instant but twice and longer lasting than usual needle. Then, I was told that I had to wait for another forty-five minutes more. The nurses got me another blanket to keep me warm.
I lost track of time since I did not have my watch on. It was long before I was finally pushed into the theatre from another door. The doctor asked me for permission to put me to sleep. I was not scared at all since I knew I would not feel the pain at all, and perhaps, my greatest fear, the injection, was over.
The theatre looked kind of like a normal dentist clinic. I was switched to another bed again immediately. Then, one of them gave me a mask I thought he wanted me to take in more pure oxygen first. After some instruction to breathe in harder and more, I felt the numbness in my brain, the scariest experience in my life. I was gasping for breath and in no time, knocked out.
When I woke up, I was already at the recovery room. The male nurse removed my oxygen mask and questioned me. Very soon, I started to feel great pain on my bandaged calf and was fed four tablets of medication; I was not sure if the both types of them were both panadols. He let me rest there longer before I was escorted out of the place.
Soon at the entrance, I saw Mingfa and followed by my mum. It was so great to see familiar faces after rejuvenated from death. My mum told me Vivi had called her earlier on and I quickly called to report my about safety. The arrival of the belle gave greater assurance of peace.
Mingfa left to find his friend later and then Gilbert arrived to entertain me more. Chatting with him was definitely informative and inspiring. My mum and Vivi left at around 1730h and Gilbert continued to stay and later went for a quick dinner before he came back to accompany my lonely soul.
Mingfa messaged me a couple of times saying he was not coming back and then later said Wilson might come but ended up both of them were not coming. It was a very good effort though because Mingfa had already rushed down straight after his coaching, whereas Wilson had to work at night.
The most dreadful time arrived finally and I knew I had to take the blood test no matter what. But there was a short queue in front of me and then I saw this very old lady being wheeled inside the room and a sudden emotion struck me. She was so skinny and I estimated she was at least seventy years old and it pierced me so much.
It was my turn then and I was forthright in front of the Malay nurse that I had phobia with needle. I said in an embarrassing tone that I would turn pale after that and most probably would feel giddy. She did not hesitate in doing her work, but asked me to look to the other side. Then she distracted me by teasing me that enemies could easily frighten me off with needles instead of using guns.
I could feel the needle piercing into my skin and soon she pressed something on that part. Next, she asked me if I was still afraid of the needle as I was speechless for a few seconds and I guessed the needle was out. She assisted me to another waiting area with comfortable chair and she went to get another queue number in my place. She was one of the nicest and most sincere nurses I had ever met.
Surprisingly I was perfectly alright even though needles always had after-effect on me within a few minutes especially after drawing a tube of blood. At least for the two times I had ever did in my life, I turned pale after that.
I recalled back to two weeks ago when I took my life’s second blood test, which was at Stagmont camp, I was so freaked out because of the people who took my blood. I knew that guy was a new medic and his senior who was there to guide him was not very experienced as well; I also had enough scary stories about careless NSF medics. The biggest problem was when I heard the senior ask the junior why he still did not remove the needle when the blood was enough to cover at least three tests already. Would you be terrified with such medical team?
I gladly went to the next station to see the anaesthetist. He was still going rounds at the wards I supposed and a nurse attended to me first. As I was still sick, I did not hear her question properly when she was referring to my “operation” and not “operation”, which caused another embarrassing moment for me. She took my blood pressure, oxygen level, height and weight before asking me to fill in a form outside. Around fifteen minutes later, the anaesthetist arrived just in time for me to escape weird questions from the guy sitting besides me with a smelly cigarette smell.
Followed by, I proceeded to Clinic “C”. The nurse at the counter told me to go to room K21 immediately but the doctor was still not around. It was around 0945h and the doctor would only come at around 1030h. The aunties sitting besides me were complaining about the waiting time though we were visiting different rooms. She was very right that the doctor would only come after ten and the hospital was unreasonable to make the patients come so much earlier.
It was around 1010h, a gentleman queued behind me came back after his breakfast. He was very friendly and started to chat with me. There was a lump inside his stomach caused by his small intestines and that was considered as minor operation as well, which scared me. In his fifties, he was still looking strong with very dark hair and his skin looked much younger. He advised me to exercise regularly to look young.
The doctor was late. After going in, he reminded me of the risks of the operation again. Then, he checked the lump and soon, he released me out of the hospital.
It was only around eleven in the morning and I was so glad and surprised. The tests actually took less time than visiting a doctor in polyclinic, which I spent three hours a couple of days ago.
Another thing I could not understand about my mum was that she insisted to switch on the air-con at night despite the heavy electricity bill. My elder brother was careless about the two hundreds plus dollars bill after using the air-con even during noon time, but she did not do anything other than complaining about him in front of me. So, I could describe them as like mother like son, or even the son outshone the parent. We were blood related though.
Apart from this nonsense of bills, since money could not buy happiness and I should skip it for the moment. But she obviously knew I was sick with flu, cough and sore throat and yet she switched on the air-con still. I had no room to escape to, except the living room which was not a very peasant place.
I battled the cold in my illness, could not doze off eventually, and finally decided to switch off the air-con. Though my nose was more relieved and could finally doze off at around five in the morning, I woke up to ease my bladder and refill my throat with water so frequently. From five to seven in the morning, I woke up numerous times.
I gave a call to SGH but they did not pick it up. I went directly for the Pre-Admission testing centre then and asked if I could proceed on with the testing when I was sick. They told me I could do it two days later, which would not affect my operation date. In fact, I actually felt like chicken out for the blood test; I was just a coward in fact of blood sucking instrument.
I went straight to Outram Polyclinic then and waited three hours before I could see the doctor. Out of the bottle of cough syrup, fungus medicine, some Lozenges and flu pills, and pimples cream, I had everything except for the latter. So once again I told myself I could become a doctor.
After reaching home, Gilbert messaged me online immediately. I took my lunch and had some discussion with him before taking the medicine and went to lie down. After a short conversation with Vivi over the phone while she was on her way home, I finally dozed off.
As we chatted over the phone again in the evening, she totally forgot that I was ill and requested me to sound lively and I almost banged my head on the table. I would settle for a sweet revenge once I recovered.
Finally I got to know my operation’s date for my left calf – Thursday, 21 September, 2006.
I arrived at Clinic “C” twenty-five minutes earlier and waited for more than half an hour before my number was called. I knew that I would be able to go in quite early (compared to usual) since I was the third to reach, though it was not in sequence.
It was Dr. Tay who attended to me. He was a pleasant looking guy who was much better than other specialists in terms of sincerity; he was careful and patient in explaining details to me and did not rush me out. I betted I was hesitating quite long inside and delayed the next appointment.
The problem with my calf was a kind of tumour, but not a major one. The overgrowth of blood vessel was said to be somehow happened during the growing and developing years of my life, which of course was a bad sign.
Dr. Tay was talking to Dr. Sebastian and they seemed to be impressed that the muscle there was very well-built. I thought it was good and flattering until they explained to be some of the muscle would be sliced off as well. I was stunned. There would also be a long scar and a little dent-in.
I was scared of course and it was not the usual shivering, but a vomiting one just like having a blood test. I was not sure if my face was pale a not, but the imagination of the operation, cutting of my blood vessel and the blood that would flow out were terrifying.
Since the lump was getting so obvious for the past few months, giving me irritation and might get worse in future, I decided to remove it.
After leaving the room, I went to another room to make appointment and get more details from the nurse. Then, I realised I had to go for another appointment one week before the operation at the Pre-Admission Testing Centre. A blood test and more awaited me…
I never liked the fact that my mum tagging me along for medication appointments unless I was in a situation when the doctors might think I was “Chao Keng” and thus the companion of parent by the side was greatly appreciated. I knew for sure there would be definitely restriction to my freedom somehow.
In fact, the number of times I had gone there for appointments was more than most Singaporeans and definitely more than my mum even though she had lots of problems. It was just another home of mine, which I was really sick of going back again and thus needed no one to accompany me over.
I forced myself to wake up early even though I had a tough night less than six hours ago to continue with my path to success in web building. In the rain, we walked over to take the free shuttle bus and it took much longer than walking straight to block three instead; I could not help it but to abide by my mum’s instruction.
As, we arrived and waited patiently for the counter to check my appointment letter and call my name, the nurse seemed so puzzled at first. Then she turned to her colleague and exchanged some conversation. There was this line, “You go and speak to him la, I don’t want to get scolded.” The nurse went to the corridor of all the specialists’ rooms but came back without entering any of them.
She called for my name instead and I knew it was time to solve the mystery. She told me it was a wrong appointment because I was seeing a vascular surgery who would only be there in the afternoon.
Singapore General Hospital sounded so established, also being one of the oldest and well equipped hospital of Singapore, with so many talents working there, had made such a mistake.
“Do you need a time chip or excuse chip?”
Like what the hell I cared for it when I was clearing my leave and using my precious time to skip all activities to make the wasteful trip down?
If it was not for this wonderful wrongly scheduled appointment, I would have turned up in my ex secondary school instead. It was the Teachers’ Day celebration and so many ex schoolmates would be turning up for sure and it was the best chance to meet up with them and my respectful teachers. Even if there was no event, I would have stayed at home to recuperate or study for my future.
I kept my calmness, asking for the next earliest appointment and she told me this afternoon. I had no choice but to decline it since I had agreed to go out with Vivi already. So, in less than a week’s time, not even half of a week, I had pushed away the second opportunity to avoid spending so much money in my medication. I felt like being put to death immediately for sacrificing for girl again. Nonetheless it was not my fault as the fucking hospital should withhold any responsibility if the bill was to come to me after my ORD date.
This was not the worst of all, with my mum besides me. I was told the next appointments would be on Monday or Tuesday and my mum exclaimed, “Make it Tuesday, my appointment is on Tuesday 2.20pm.”
So, once again she turned a deaf ear to my rush of time, as usual, like how she did it daily. I had to repeat again I had to do the operation before 30th September so that I needed not pay for it and I had to see the specialist before booking the operation date which I did not know how long this Singapore Waiting Hospital would make me wait again.
I felt so much like telling my mum to go for my operation instead but did not want to hurt her. The nurse tried to ask me to waste my time this afternoon again and my mum was “on” for it like as if she was going in my place again. My blood was heated up to the boiling point and raised my voice in a stern matter, repeated that I had an appointment in the afternoon.
I could feel the heat on my face and the redness and darkness which they had probably witnessed. There was a background sound saying, “Give him the private one la, you see he’s so pissed off already.”
I could see the nurse putting on fake smiles. It was not her fault for she was not the one who scheduled the wrong appointment for me but she could at least show more sincerity. I said I wanted Monday but she filtered my words and asked for next Tuesday, like as if my mum was the one seeing the specialist for operation. I agreed since I had no choice and when she asked whether I wanted morning or afternoon session, I took the latter one as to fit my mum’s decision.
With details, on Monday, 28 August, 2006, around 1300h, the nurse at the Singapore General Hospital Clinic “F” (Orthopaedic) booked my appointment to see the vascular surgery at Clinic “C” on Thursday, 31 August, 2006, 1010h, which was a wrong appointment. Since they had delayed my appointment, I would definitely appeal for them to foot the bill if the operation date was delayed till after Saturday, 30 September, 2006.
It was another visit to the Singapore Waiting Hospital. I was twenty minutes earlier but I waited for more than an hour.
The young specialist recognised me but I found him more familiar, probably at the beach. He was surprised to see me for the lump on my calf as he thought I last saw him quite long ago for it. I betted he did not know the queue for all appointments there were so long.
He looked at the MRI result and asked me what I wanted him to do for me. I had to take a decision whether to leave the lump alone or remove it. He left me outside to decide while he tried to finish off the remaining ten over patients and he seemed confident in his talk to the nurse.
I sought consultation from Vivi and she wanted me to go for the operation. But there was fears within me as the previous specialist had told me the operation would be bloody and messy since it was made up of blood vessels. The worst thing was that the lump might come back again.
I waited outside for the doctor to call me in but my number never appeared again. Then I saw a patient spitted with saliva before going in and I almost wanted to confront him. I told a nurse and she told me it was the same mental problem guy who had done it every time; I guessed I was lucky that I did not get into a fight with a guy who had mental problem.
After more patients had gone in, the nurse suddenly came out to find me. I clarified my doubts and the specialist said that I would be hospitalised for two or three days and would be able to walk after that; whereas, the lump might not be back. I decided to go for it.
I was referred to the General Surgery again and the appointment could be as early as Wednesday but I had dental FFI appointment. I pushed it to this Thursday, which was a mistake since it was Teachers’ Day celebration.
I was quite disappointed in the specialist not writing a letter for my FFI medical check-up to sum up my injuries. It was so irresponsibility of the specialists there to avoid spending time as to clear up the rest of the patients, especially when it was already one o’clock – lunch time.
As I put the news of an operation in my MSN nick, I saw the concern of some friends like Jasper Tan, Gilbert, Yaozhong, Kachua, Jasmin, Vanessa and Mingfa; it was comforting to know my friends cared for me.
